i would punch a child for taco bell
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
