Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
