hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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