She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
