Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
