Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
