If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
