I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
