is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Text me some of your sweat
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