You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
