I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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