So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
