i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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