he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
