hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
