My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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