I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
