I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If that was your dad, he is hot
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
