I can text with my tongue
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
