I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you win again, gameday.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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