I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
