if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
