I am spending my child support on dildos
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
