White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
