My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just had sex bonerless
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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