i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
