So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
