I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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