meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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