hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Boobs speak an international language.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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