I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He shit in the fireplace
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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