I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
