I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
