i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
