You really coming over, don't trick.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
