I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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