So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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