My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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