The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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