Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We are two peas in an std pod
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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