we made out on top of his cat.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
