No stitches, just platelets and will power
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
