EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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