Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
