im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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