OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Duck Duck Cougar?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
