Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
