I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
