That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
