I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
