I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
