she is the kim kardashian of front butts
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
MIDGETS
????
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
